Up to no good....again.

Well, it seems as if my mouth has gotten me in trouble once again. It has been brought to my attention by those closest to me, including my boss, that I have quite the sharp tongue. Which got me thinking, I wonder if those who know me best have been hurt by something I've said over the course of my life? My best friend has put up with me for 6 years now and has, I'm sure, experienced my razorblade of a tongue. But did she ever say anything about it? My parents, who have known me and all my faults, have I ever hurt my mother by saying something mean? I can think of many times when I have been on the phone with her and snapped at her. So this Christmas, I'm giving all of you a gift....I'm going to shut my mouth for once. I'm going to think before I speak, at least I'll try to. And I'll try not to speak out of emotions. Because that last one seems to get me in the most trouble. Speaking first when my emotions are still raw. I need to take a step back and relax and be slower to speak. After all, the good book says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29.

Yes, I did it. I quoted the Bible. I think I need to get back in the word. It's been sometime since I have been. I think I need to carry that verse around with me at all times, so that I can make sure what I say benefits those who are listening. Not hurting them or angering them. Hm....definitely food for thought.

On another note, I had two really weird dreams this weekend. I don't know if it was all of the Nyquil that I've been doped up on or what, but I had one Saturday and Sunday that were kinda odd. The first one, I was walking along in a hay field with a guy friend and his mother. Now the strange thing is, I got caught in the hay somehow and couldn't move. My friend's mother is the one who helped me get unstuck. That's the crazy thing, I've never seen her before nor have I met her. Any takers on what that dream means?

And secondly, my other dream was involving a group of women. I was working for them doing some project and this older woman kept telling me what to do. Eventually, I got pissed at her and tackled her and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of her.....

I think I need therapy.....

I hope y'all enjoy my present this year....some of you may have already gotten one from me. If that's the case, Merry Christmas and I hope you like it.

I'm on my way home now.

Rack 'em....I'm out!

My apologies

To the faithful one or two people who actually read my blog, my sincerest apologies for not writing sooner. I am a graduate student that also works full-time and I had two finals last week. So needless to say, my life was chaotic last week and I just couldn't find the time to write. I just found out that I made A's in both of my classes and I can now breathe a sigh of relief...all together now...."ahhh...." Anyway, stay tuned for future rantin's and ravin's from me. I've definitely got one in the works....something that was said to me this weekend did not sit well with me at all....To be continued....

This one's for you Amber!

I found this on a facebook.com wall today. I thought it was too great not to post. If you've heard it before, please forgive me. If not, enjoy! But I dedicate this one to Amber, Cap's sister.

Five Reasons Not to Be a Penis:

1. You're bald your whole life.

2. You have a hole in your head.

3. Your neighbors are nuts.

4. The guy behind you is an asshole.

And my personal favorite . .

5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

Dear Santa,

For those of you who know me, I am an organized freak....when it comes to work. Now, my personal life and apartment are two totally different stories. However, at work, I'm the Organization Nazi. I can't stand for my desk to have papers scattered about and I can't leave paperwork on my desk at the end of the day either. Everything has it's own place, nice and neatly in order. My planner sits in the middle of my desk, so that I can see everything that's going on during the day, week, etc.

I looked at it this morning and realized it was now December. December. Can it really be time for the new year? I don't know if I'm ready for Christmas or not. I say that I am, but in reality, I don't think I'm ready for a new year. It doesn't seem like its time to get out the trees and whatnot. And I love Christmas ordinarily, I just don't know what's wrong with me this year. I love going shopping for presents and this year I'm dreading it. I've never considered myself a Scrooge or Grinch either but there's just something about the holidays this year that's not sitting well with me.

I think it's the fact that I'm grown up now. I miss the days of footie pj's and leaving Santa cookies. And trying to make myself fall asleep on Christmas Eve wondering what would be in front of the tree the next morning. I miss Christmas with my Nanny's. Both of my biological grandmothers have passed away and I miss them terribly this time of year. I miss the way I would go to my Father's house without any drama and now I know that's not possible. I miss being in the Christmas musicals at my church and having fellowship afterwards. And worst of all, I miss something I've never had. I long for the day when I have my own family and my children wear footie pj's and leave Santa cookies. I'm such a hopeless romantic and this time of the year makes me wonder about my future family.

But probably the biggest issue is, I know I'm not getting what I want for Christmas. And it's nothing anyone can actually get for me.

I got a Christmas card from a resident that said "Believe in the magic!" There's a part of me that still does....I'm in desperate need of that magic now.